Moms and Bandages…Even in Spirit

1968 - Mom and Nancy in kitchen

Happy Mother’s Day! Today is a day to celebrate our mother, and we will celebrate her whether she is with us or not. Today is a day with mixed emotions spanning from my 25 year old daughter-in-law who has a fresh open wound of losing her mother only two weeks ago to me, a 57 year old who lost my mother eight years ago, to an 80 year old friend who lost her mother thirty years ago.

The 80 year old friend said she still misses her mother. When my mother passed, a co-worker told me that she had lost her mother years before. She said not a day will go by that I don’t think of her. She was right.

The first year that I was without her was difficult because I missed the daily chats we had in the past and the quick phone calls I would make to her when I had a cooking question. With time I became accustom to her being gone. Her spirit and teachings live in me, and I think of her daily and cherish the precious memories we shared together.

This picture of my mother and me in her domain…the kitchen…depicts her so well and everything in this picture stirs memories of the mother that I love dearly. My mother was happy to be a full-time housewife and mother. She spent hours and hours working in her kitchen using her Magic Chef oven to her electric Sunbeam mixer, to her metal flour and sugar canisters, to her coffee percolator, to her Sunbeam blender and to the knives she has hanging on her wall. She was also a seamstress and had sewn together the aprons that we have wrapped around us in this picture.

When I was young and had scraped, bloody knees my mom swept me up, cleaned the wound, bandaged it and then held me tight to ease the pain. I like to think that perhaps my mom continues to care for me like that even after she is gone. Her spirit dwells inside of me and continues to comfort. She eased my open wound and pain from losing her with a bandage of love that can still be felt. Every year the excruciating pain of loss lessened and the love increased.

Happy Mother’s Day Mom…Jean Belle! I’ll love you forever!

What memories of your mom come to mind when you think of her on this special day? Answering these questions below about your mother will be a start to Keeping Your Memories of her preserved in writing so that she will forever be remembered. If you’re fortunate that your mother is still with you, ask her to answer these questions about her mother also.

  • What do you remember most about your mother’s appearance?
  • What sounds do you associate with your mother?
  • What was your favorite food that your mother cooked for you?
  • What pleasant smells do you associate with your mother?
  • What special touch do you associate with your mother?

http://www.keepingyourmemories.com

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My Dad – Forever He Will Be

2014-06-15

Today on Father’s Day memories of Dad flood my heart and soul:

I remember Dad as a gentle, patient man. By example he quietly taught me life skills. He taught me to have good character and work ethics. I watched him work responsibly and diligently in taking care of his home and property. I watched him rise early in the morning to get to work on time. I admired him for his patience and tolerance.

When I was a little girl, Dad worked long hours as a freight conductor on the Pennsylvania Railroad. I don’t remember him being home, but I never thought of him not being home. It was just that Dad worked and that was life.

Dad would send us across the street to DeLock’s, a small corner grocery store, to purchase the afternoon newspaper for him but did not always ask for the change back from the

Dad gave me the necklace that I wore in my kindergarten picture. He also gave me a little yellow ring with flowers printed on it which I wore every day in kindergarten. Every year he gave me a Valentine’s Day card and gift. I still have all the cards he gave me.

Dad was a handy man. He could fix anything. He would work on his cars. He would work on the yard. Anything that needed to be fixed, he could do it.

Instead of sending me to school for drivers ed, Dad taught me how to drive when I was sixteen years old. He was a patient man. Behind our house we had a field with an alley that circled it. He had me drive back there until I got used to the feel of driving. Then he took me out on the streets to drive.

Fortunately, he was a quiet person and didn’t anger easily. For the number of his cars that I, and some siblings, damaged he never yelled at us.

Dad always changed the oil in his car himself and when I was a teenager, I asked him to teach me to do the same. He was willing to show me, however, I did not have to change it often as he did it for me.

I remember Dad at the Indiana Dunes racing up and down the steep sand dunes faster than us.

Dad passed in February 2007 making this my tenth Father’s Day without him. He’s physically gone but my memories of him keeps him close to me

Preserving the legacies of your father will prevent him from ever being forgotten and future descendants will be able to read his life story and understand their family heritage. Grab your laptop or paper and pen and start Keeping Your Memories of your father starting with the following questions:

  • In what ways are you like your father? And not like your father?
  • What did you enjoy doing with your father?
  • What was your proudest moment of your father?
  • What was the most valuable lesson you learned from your father?
  • What is the one thing you most want people to remember about your father?

www.keepingyourmemories.com

 

A Mother’s Graduation…

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Yesterday I watched my son (pictured on the right) receive his college diploma. All graduations are special but this one was extra special as it was a moment of completion, perhaps my graduation also, as now all three of my children have finished their college education and my mission of raising my three is fully complete.

As the noted speaker was giving her commencement speech, my mind wandered reflecting on my twenty-eight year journey raising my one daughter and two sons. I fell madly in love with my newborns, adored my toddlers, was delighted with my young children, annoyed with my middle schoolers, aggravated with my high schoolers, and today respect and love my adult children.

As infants, my children were completely dependent on me to feed them, clothe them and love them. I was in love with these angels and was full of joy with each accomplishment when they rolled over, sat up, crawled, cut their first tooth, walked, and spoke their first words. My heart was filled when my babies reached their little dimpled arms to me wanting to be held and snuggled to fall asleep in my arms.

1992-07 Joanna, Michael and Jeff

The first days of kindergarten came too quickly for each of them. I was excited for their milestone, but as I watched them board the school bus and see it pull away, they would look out the window and wave. I smiled back waving holding back my tears. And when each one arrived home from school they would jump off the bus and run into the house excited to tell me everything that happened that morning in their classroom.

I attended my children’s first school concert proudly watching them and snapping endless pictures. The next few years my children were away from home with their first sleepover with a friend and eagerly picked up in the morning. My children grew and were learning to be independent but even still were willing to curl up in my lap before bedtime. As I saw each one sleep, I could still see the baby in each of them.

Then came the first day of middle school, and I started to feel the sting as the apron string was being snipped. This time they got on the bus and still looked out the window, but only smiled discreetly and for sure wasn’t going to wave. The school day was over but not coming home on the bus due to after school activities and now needed various pick up times to be set. What hadn’t changed was that I still proudly watched my children participate in multiple sports and school choir events. At this point each was spending more time with friends and sleepovers turned into hanging out all day with their friends. Now I was given a quick kiss and hug as long as it was in the privacy of home and no one was watching.

The next phase was the toughest as the apron string was close to being completely cut. On the first day of high school my children were riding the bus and now not even looking my way to acknowledge me. They were coming home late from after school sports and activities but didn’t need a ride because they would find their own means. They now had their first job and activities were now scheduled around work and school. They earned their first driver’s license and now no longer needed me for transportation. I was no longer top priority nor the most important person to them on their list and they started having relationships with others, dates and proms.

They began looking at colleges, were excited for the future and gave minimal information. But it remained strong that I still proudly watched my teenagers play in their sports and sing in the school choir. And at this point, if it was necessary, they gave me a kiss.

There was a mix of sadness and excitement dropping my children off at college and an emptiness coming home to their empty bedrooms. There were no more bus rides, no after school activities, however, I did start to hear a little bit more from them as they adjusted being on their own. It was wonderful to see how their learned life skills helped them adjust to being independent. They met new friends and had new experiences. Now they kissed and hugged when we saw each other again and when going back to school.

Yesterday I cried and was extremely proud to see how my son has transformed into a handsome man shaking hands and accepting his degree. I had to wait until the formalities were done and the ceremony was complete before I could congratulate him. When we saw each other in a crowd of people, he reached down to me and gave me a hug and a kiss.

My mission is complete with my three adult children. I am looking forward to the next stages for my three adult children as they have begun their lives on their own and praying that it will be years of joy for them.

What memorable times do you have of raising your children or someone that you have mentored? Now is the time to open up your laptop or grab paper and pen and start Keeping Your Memories of the memorable times you have had with them.

http://www.keepingyourmemories.com